I went to a wedding this past weekend. It was wonderful. I live close to the bride and groom, so I was able to witness from a distance all the work up until the big day. Needless to say, finally being able to watch everything pay off in one single evening was awesome. But on top of the festivities and tears accompanying the wedding, I had an unexpected and much needed encounter with the Holy Spirit. This encounter, not unlike almost all others, occurred in the form of fellowship.
It's funny how I can so easily forget the themes of my life. I've told my faith story (or whatever you'd like to call it) countless times, and in it, I always mention that fellowship is where I tend to meet God. I realize the term "fellowship" is rather loaded, but I suppose what I mean here is a group of people through which I can literally feel loved merely by being in their presence. These are the people I saw this weekend. What is ironic, though, is the fact that the entire drive up to Columbus (which is where the wedding was) I was regretting taking the trip.
I had...have a 15 page paper due on the "Wesleyan Quadrilateral" by Thursday, and I hadn't really even started reading my material. I had found what I wanted to read, but hadn't started the real work. This is a semester long paper mind you. So with all of this in the back of my head, I was pretty stressed, and I was convinced that I should have stayed home and worked in my apartment rather than the car. Luckily, I didn't listen to this part of me.
When Kelly and I arrived, I was thrilled to have come. It's not to say that I was relieved, in fact I remained stressed throughout a fair amount of the weekend, but enjoyed it nonetheless. Throughout our time in Columbus, I saw many of the most influential and loving people in my life. We laughed about old stories; we laughed about whatever stupid thing we were doing in the moment; we just laughed a lot. It put life back into me that I had not felt since graduation. Not to say that I don't feel alive, I mean come on, I'm married to the hottest woman in the world and am attending a wonderful university. But I had my old friends back; the friends that know me, in many ways, better than I know myself. I loved it.
Along with friends, I got to talk with my overall life mentor. He is a pastor in the United Methodist Church, and is always excited to discuss my experiences in seminary and the candidacy process for the church. In talking with him, not only did he give me words of encouragement about what it is to work in the church, but simply being in dialogue with the person that basically led me into the Church in the first place reminded me of the passion that drove me to seminary.
I must be honest, I've been a little tired of my schooling lately. Among other more commendable things, seminary is competitive, stressful, and seemingly lacking in spiritual formation. I don't have the support I had in Athens, and I miss that a lot. And yet, after just one conversation with my mentor, and one weekend with my best friends, I woke up today a new person. Or perhaps a renewed person, because I recognize who I am right now. I am he who loves God and loves the Church and is willing to give his life for both.
I had forgotten who I was, and I suspect I will again some day in the future. But this realization was vital for the work God has given me to do. I am in seminary, not just to jump through a hoop in order to carry on to the next part of my life, but to love God and love others. Believe it or not, I could sense a difference in the work I did on my paper today because of this weekend. I appreciated what I was learning, and read things I knew I probably didn't have to read but wanted to regardless of the pressing due date. And when this is done, I do get to work in the church...hopefully with the same people I saw this weekend :)
So this is why I'm in seminary. To continue loving whatever it is God commands me to do, and know that all is well. I love all of you that I saw this weekend (you know who you are). I will never know how much I desperately need you in order to be reminded why I am a Christian in the first place. You are all amazing.
Monday, April 12, 2010
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